On Uncertainty

Change sure can be a son of a biscuit.

‘What a time to be alive,’ is a phrase that can be uttered with a myriad of different emotions and inflections, depending on the individual—but never before in my life has the expression felt more apt. The last five years have been filled with an immense amount of collective change. The pandemic, the shifting political climate and unrest in the United States, the unavoidable onslaught of generative A.I., climate catastrophes fueled by greed, and a very specific throne once occupied by the likes of Beanie Babies, Pound Puppies, and Squishmallows has been usurped by Jelly Cats—oh, wait… Now, it’s Labubus!

Ah, at least some things (however trivial they may seem!) remain predictable.

Brains enjoy patterns. But lately, the rate of change has felt more like a blitzkrieg—rapid, unpredictable, and volatile. Too many unknowns can be overwhelming for some, flooding nervous system and inciting a fight, flight, or freeze response. The uncertainty and change feels frightening, perhaps now more than ever before. It is impossible to predict what could possibly be next. That is scary.

Personally, my own life has not remained unstirred by change and uncertainty. Some changes I welcomed and others were painful. I fought against many unexpected personal, professional, and global shifts. All the unknowns dredged up thick clouds of fear deep within me as time marched on and brought along with it a never-ending parade of changes. Other times I sought out to make changes, I even rushed toward change—welcoming all that it could offer with open arms. This approach wasn’t necessarily easier, sometimes that embrace left me feeling disappointed and scorned. Other times, the change that I sought was so needed that it felt more like a bright light than a murky, disorienting thing. This kind of change left me feeling brand new, restored, and grateful even if the process of that change was uncomfortable. I learned that all change is uncomfortable and began to accept that discomfort is an important part of life.

Change is an aspect of life that is perpetually present, forever unfolding and shifting our bodies, minds, and lives. Why do some uncertainties feel more unmanageable than others? The answer is as simple as it is complex. Some changes actually are more manageable than others. Changes, and our responses, vary widely on a spectrum. The way we respond to change can often be a sort of “default mode” that the brain has worked to establish over long periods of time.

For example, I applied for my masters program in the fall of 2019, began classes for the postgrad degree in October 2020, and graduated in the spring of 2024. Though the program was demanding and very difficult, I was more equipped to confront all the uncertainties that this change brought not only because I sought out this particular change, but because it was a change that my brain had encountered before. I knew the expectations that academia brought to my life as well as the structure and community that it offered. I knew I could handle it because I had done it before. What my brain did not know and had no way of knowing at all—was the outcome of a global pandemic, the collective impact of unregulated social media and tech on an increasingly isolated society, and the panic of witnessing my country take away the rights and freedoms of its people. For a while, I felt like I was in a constant state of overwhelm and anxiety.

Maybe you can relate?

It’s time we give ourselves a break. Historically, change has occurred at a much slower rate that the world is currently experiencing. Next time you feel the weight of uncertainty, try not to judge yourself for your response. It’s okay if you need to take a deep breath or go on a walk. It’s okay if it makes you feel angry. But maybe, if you have the space, try and channel a little curiousity. Maybe simply ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” And if you ask yourself that question and you don’t know—that’s alright, too! It’s okay if you don’t know what you need. We are all confused, sometimes.

And if you want to work on your response to uncertainty, try not to worry much if the work is slow. It should be slow. Breaking patterns and relearning new ways of being requires time, trial and error, and compassion. The path is not linear. 

In times of great change, we have to tackle it day by day, hour by hour, or, as an old teacher of mine used to say, “Take it ten minutes at a time.”

Take care.

With warmth,

Kara